Learning and growth comes from challenge, not comfort.
Some people think they want a life of comfort. But comfort leads to stasis, where nothing changes.
One analogy is going to the gym. If you only lift weights that are easy for you, you don’t get stronger. Only by pushing your limits will you get significantly stronger.
So if you are facing a challenging situation, think about what strength you could be building in that situation. Perhaps it’s your capability in dealing with people different than you. Perhaps it’s your skill at dealing with your anxiety and fear about change. Perhaps it’s your ability to say no and set firm boundaries.
One example for me was dealing with a startup CEO with whom I had a personality conflict. For whatever reason, he refused to listen to me and my ideas. I spent a year complaining about it. But then I took a step back and changed my goal from “getting credit for my ideas” to “getting the ideas implemented”. I figured out who the CEO did listen to, pitched them the ideas, and when they shared the same ideas, the ideas got implemented in the product. I learned to focus more on the result I wanted, and less on making sure I got credit.
When you change your focus from the situation “out there” to how you can improve your response to that situation, you will find that you might start to welcome challenge as a way to learn and grow.
What’s a challenge you faced in your life that led to personal growth?