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If somebody has to read your mind for them to do what you want, you’re the problem.

Posted on October 2, 2025 by admin

If somebody has to read your mind for them to do what you want, you’re the problem.

I’ve seen many examples where leaders hint at what they want, then get upset when what is delivered is not what they expected. Everybody involved gets frustrated – the people who worked hard to deliver something that is rejected, and the leader is frustrated because they didn’t get what they want.

I want to focus on the leader here as the person with more hierarchical power. It’s their responsibility to not only communicate their expectations clearly, but then also check that what was received matched their intent (I tell my engineering clients to look for the checksum to confirm receipt). Without that check, both sides may leave the room wrongly thinking that what was transmitted by the leader matched what was received.

One tactic to increase the chances of a transmission being received is to explain the thinking behind a decision. If a decision is seen as arbitrary or due to ineffable taste, then the leader can say nonsensical things and people accept it because of the leader’s power. But if people understand the why of a decision, they are more likely to work in accordance with that intent.

If you make decisions in a consistent way as a leader, and can articulate the principles you use to make those decisions, people can make decisions aligned with those principles. That alignment allows you to scale your leadership (you don’t even have to be in the room to get what you want!) and creates less frustration for everybody involved.

So when you notice yourself being frustrated with somebody else not doing what you want, consider how you could communicate your expectations or principles more clearly next time. By saying what you want, maybe you will be more likely to get it.

P.S. The opening line of this post was originally offered to me as relationship advice about communicating with your partner, but I find that it also applies to leadership.

P.P.S. Yes, I’m using an AI generated image to increase the chances of you seeing this post with the algorithm. If you have a better way to increase visibility, please comment!

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