How do we move from “you and me” to “us”?”
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“I’ve had several clients recently share situations where they get frustrated with somebody else for not doing something, and say a variation of “If I can’t trust them to do it, I’ll have to do it myself!” The only options they can think of are “You do it” or “I do it”, which can quickly become antagonistic. I consider this a zero-sum game of assigning individual responsibility, playing a blame game from opposite sides of the table. ”
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“I prefer a more generative possibility where people work together from the same side of the table: “How can we address this problem together?” Instead of you and me, that question shifts to an “us” mentality where we are on the same team against the problem. ”
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“I was already thinking of a post along these lines, but my therapist recently recommended I read Terrence Real’s book “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship”, which offers the exact same advice for people to address their relationship issues. ”
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“So when you notice yourself falling into a blaming “you and me” mindset toward a problem, pause and take a deep breath, then consider how you could work together as an “us” team to address that problem.”
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“#collaboration #teamwork #leadership ”
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