Sharing your truth can be a transformational act.
I was feeling trapped this week. I had made too many work and family commitments, and was dreading the exhaustion that would come as I struggled through, because I am already feeling exhausted. But one of my core beliefs is to deliver on my commitments, no matter what, so I grimly prepared for the grind of the next week.
But that made me grumpy, and my wife asked me “What are you thinking about?” and I actually answered honestly, “I don’t want to [do a family commitment]”. And she said “So don’t!” She suggested that she take the kids, and I get some time to recover. So simple!
But for it to happen required me to actually share what I was feeling, instead of going with my default “I’m fine!”, putting up a facade when I’m drowning inside.
This is another illustration of the core principle of my book, You Have A Choice. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like we have a choice because we “have to” do something; in this example, I “had to” deliver on my commitments, “no matter what” – I never want to disappoint others, especially my family. And I believe I “have to” do everything alone without asking for help. But we always have a choice if we are willing to accept the consequences.
By sharing our situation, other people can help us find choices and possibilities we don’t even consider, because they are not trapped by the same beliefs that we are; my wife didn’t believe the family outing was sacrosanct, and she valued my well-being over me showing up miserable, so she told me I could skip it.
Where do you feel trapped right now? Who could you safely talk to and share your situation? Perhaps they can help you question your assumptions and beliefs to find choices that aren’t apparent to you.