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What is the price of #belonging?

Posted on August 4, 2023August 22, 2025 by admin

What is the price of #belonging?

I wrote a long blog post exploring that question, inspired by a podcast conversation between Annahid Dashtgard and Jerry Colonna on race and whiteness at https://lnkd.in/gYn2sWHD Dashtgard’s comment about the price people paid to be white in America particularly struck a nerve with me, as I have been reflecting on my own struggles with feeling like I belong, possibly originating in growing up as a half-Korean in an all-white Chicago suburb.

Dashtgard’s comment related that price of belonging to the #perfectionism that many people of color feel as part of existing in a white-dominant culture. If you have given up part of yourself and your own culture to assimilate to the dominant culture, you don’t want to lose your place in that culture. You want to belong, but you don’t, as your place feels fragile and tenuous, able to be revoked at any time if you make one wrong comment or one inappropriate action that shows you don’t fit in. This pressure to always say and do the right thing in any situation is incredibly oppressive, and leads to the poorer performance of minorities due to their experience of stereotype threat even if there is no explicit bias, as described by Claude M. Steele in his book Whistling Vivaldi.

I go on to explore how that pressure has played out in my own life despite me having all the privilege of being white passing and male and straight and able-bodied. I also share some thoughts on what a more #inclusive culture might look like. I’d love your thoughts and responses.

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