What’s stopping you isn’t a lack of information – it’s the emotional intelligence to take the actions you know are necessary.
A couple examples:
I hired a sales coach last year to help me build my coaching business. He told me to reach out to former coworkers and clients to start a conversation. Just being in touch and top of mind will lead to business even if I never talk about selling. Have I done what he suggested? Nope. There’s some part of me that emotionally recoils at the idea of contacting somebody uninvited; it feels spammy or even scammy, even though it’s been welcomed when I have done it. The blocker is inside my head.
I was talking to a senior leader earlier this week who is having a challenging time with one of his reports. When I pressed, he admitted he was “too nice” and preferred to fix people’s mistakes for them rather than confront or challenge them. He knows he needs to have a direct conversation with this person, but fears the consequences.
In these cases and many others, we are blocked by an emotional reaction that hijacks our nervous system and prevents us from taking our intended action. And that reaction arose from a good intention: me wanting to avoid pressing myself unwanted onto people, or the leader not wanting to upset those around him. And yet, that same reaction is now blocking us from further growth.
To change the outcome, we need to recognize the reaction as it’s happening, appreciate its good intent, and then let go of the emotion so that we can take the conscious action we intend. Easier said than done, but it starts by practicing the awareness of when our actions are hijacked by an emotion. If we can pause in that moment to take a deep breath and remind ourselves of our intentions, we can change the outcome.
What situations are you finding challenging to do what you “should”? What emotions are blocking you from the actions you intend to take?