What drives your forward progress?
On my recent appearance on The Great Noticing Podcast, Emily McAnelly was surprised that I felt insecure. She assumed that somebody with a background like mine, with degrees from MIT and Stanford, and 10 years at Google, would be completely confident and assured since I had accomplished so many things.
I explained that it was actually the opposite. I had accomplished so many things _because_ I felt insecure. I felt I had to prove myself over and over again to earn respect, to earn love, to earn belonging. Secure people who grew up in stable families don’t feel the need to prove themselves because they got unconditional love from the start, so they don’t have the same drive for accomplishment.
I read a stat once that the vast majority of successful entrepreneurs had some sort of negative childhood experience (loss of parent through death or divorce, poverty, constant moves, etc) that forced them to act as an adult earlier than most kids. That experience meant they understood the standard path didn’t work for them, so they had to create their own path. Similarly, I once heard a “joke” that Silicon Valley is an engine for harnessing anxiety disorders for productivity, which isn’t so funny for those of us that burned out trying to keep up with the excessive demands of such companies.
That anxiety can be a powerful engine. When that energy is directed towards a meaningful goal or accomplishments, it can provide the fuel and power for changing the world.
But without proper steering, it can drive you in circles very fast (ruminating, looping on negative thoughts, blaming yourself for everything) and make zero progress, like driving around a racetrack loop repeating the same lap over and over. And it has negative physical and emotional effects that can lead to burnout, as it did for me.
So if you have anxiety or insecurity, how will you harness it to use its energy towards a positive goal?
And if you don’t, how will you motivate yourself to go beyond your immediate well-being to pursue greater impact? What’s your vision that is powerful enough for you to mobilize yourself and others into action?