Show the strain of the work.
I’ve had several clients recently who are struggling with situations where they want to be a team player and avoid conflict, but are slowly sinking into burnout. And they feel stuck, because they don’t see how to change the situation.
When I suggest they could challenge the behaviors that are creating the situation, they immediately explain why that’s not possible, or that’s not who they are. And I get it – it’s a difficult job market out there, so keeping their job is their number one priority, and they feel that “making waves” or “poking the bear” is dangerous.
And yet their own quality of work is degrading due to them cheerfully accepting too much work. They feel they just need to make it through this month, this quarter, this year, but are instead perpetuating the current situation. And I have seen it end in a difficult performance conversation, as the overload led to them missing on critical expectations.
It’s hard to break the cycle. Even while I was burning out, I said “Sure, I can do that!” when my manager asked me to do something. By the end, I was doing the work of four people, and they were still giving me more…because I was still saying yes.
What I learned in that experience was to show the strain earlier. In my next job as Search Ads Chief of Staff, I let my VP know when I was going into the “yellow” zone of strain, so we could reprioritize. That change let me work hard and deliver impact without tipping over into the red zone of burnout. Instead of saying “everything’s fine” right up until the moment I fell apart, I said “Hey, this new commitment will stretch me, is there anything else that can wait?” Admittedly, I was fortunate to have a VP that respected that conversation (one of the reasons I stayed in that Chief of Staff role for over six years).
If you’re feeling similarly stuck, I invite you to honestly assess the quality of your work and how you are feeling day-to-day. When you know that your work is starting to slip, and that things aren’t getting done to your normal standards, have an explicit conversation about it. It’s better to discuss expectations up front, rather than make a commitment and not deliver to the expected standards.
One experiment that I often suggest is to stop saying yes in the moment. Instead, say “That sounds important. Let me review my other commitments and I’ll get back to you later today.” Write down each ask, and at the end of the day, review and rank order the asks. Many of my clients say yes in the moment because each individual ask is manageable, but when they wrote down the whole list, they realized they were committing to more than a day of work each day, which isn’t sustainable.
How strained do you feel these days? What’s the effect on your work quality?