How are you doing on your New Year’s resolutions?
It’s now February, so most people have failed at their resolutions. The problem with resolutions is that the underlying assumption is that you just need more willpower to make change happen. But willpower is fickle and unreliable, no matter what the productivity bros say about their optimized daily routine (as Chris Sacca commented on the Tim Ferriss podcast, it’s very clear those guys don’t have young kids).
Lasting behavior change starts by acknowledging and accepting the unconscious motivations that drive your current behaviors.
Perhaps you (unconsciously) equate eating with comfort, so when life gets stressful, you eat. The diet industrial complex would tell you that you just need more willpower and discipline, but no diet you try works for you. Instead, if you realize that your underlying need is comfort, you can design routines that fill that emotional need for you without eating.
If somebody you know is struggling to make a change in their life, check out my book, You Have A Choice: Beyond Hard Work to Meaningful Impact. The book explains how you are preventing yourself from making the change you say you want, and guides you through the process of updating your unconscious to get out of your own way. It starts by investigating those underlying emotional needs; only by accepting yourself as you are today can you design a behavior change that will actually work long-term without unrealistic amounts of willpower and discipline every day.
If you’ve read the book, I’d love for you to share an insight that stuck with you from the book as a comment below (and as an Amazon review if you want to help others find the book).
If you haven’t, I invite you to at least read the intro chapter (available as part of the free sample on Amazon). The first lines of the book are:
“How do you feel about your life?
If you love it, this book isn’t for you. Keep doing what you’re doing.
If not, does the following resonate?”
Check it out and let me know what resonates with you!