Being matters more than doing.
Watching Thomas Hübl, PhD coach last week was an inspiration because he coached from the body, not the mind. Instead of asking brilliant insightful questions, he coached by matching the client’s energy and then guiding them to a place of greater calm in the body which led to their own intuitive insights. His being created more space for their doing.
I have noticed the same phenomenon in my parenting. Even if I try to use the language of gentle parenting, my kids can tell when I’m riled up, and they instinctively defend against my agitation by resisting. When I calmly ask them, or even sometimes ignore them, they do the right thing because they know what to do if they’re in a calm state.
If you’re in a situation where you don’t know what to do, try being with the situation in a different way. How are you feeling about it? What emotions might you be avoiding? If you can address your own anxiety or agitation, perhaps your resulting calm will create different possibilities.