One of my clients observed recently “[my job] is hard, and there’s too much of it”. A shame and blame culture would assume that if you can’t do everything, it means you’re not good enough and don’t deserve the job you have. This leads to shame spirals, and people feeling unable to be vulnerable about their situations, as they don’t want to appear incompetent even when they are overwhelmed.”
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“What if one could instead share an honest assessment of “there’s too much to do”? This would require trusting one’s own value to avoid the shame spiral, and the confidence to accept the consequences that might result from such an admission.”
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“The first time I said “there’s too much” at work changed my life. My manager unsurprisingly “helped” me by taking away half my team, and slashing my performance rating which killed my chances at a promotion. The surprising part was that I felt great about it! “Succeeding” at that job was destroying me, and my career afterwards has confirmed I was not a good fit for that team.”
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“If you’re feeling overwhelmed and ashamed, can you admit, even to yourself, that maybe there’s just too much to do, and it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough?”
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“#mentalhealth #personaldevelopment #coaching #shame #blame”
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