What do you want to change?
Many people complain when invited to give feedback. They talk about what they didn’t like, how something affected them, and generally are unloading their perspective. It’s about what already happened in the past, which means that it’s not going to change anything.
Effective feedback is about the future. What should the person start doing, or stop doing? Give specific examples of how the person could behave differently (they can only change their own actions), and ask them if they want to commit to those new behaviors and then be held accountable. You may try to motivate them by sharing how their previous actions have affected you, but focus on how they will benefit by changing.
Complaining about the system or about the inequities of the past may bring greater awareness, but changing the system happens through individual people changing their behavior. If you want to make a change around you, I invite you to find one persuadable person and offer them feedback on how to change their behavior. It may not feel like that approach can scale, but each of us is a role model for others; our actions may inspire others, one at a time dominos falling to create greater change.
What change do you want to make? And with whose behavior will you start? (Hint: your own behavior is a good starting point)
#influence #systemsthinking #feedback