“Freedom is being disliked by other people.”
I’m reading The Courage to Be Disliked, by Ichirou Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, which is an exploration of Adlerian psychology through a fictitious conversation between a young man and a philosopher, and just came across this quote which I assume serves as the basis for the book title.
The philosopher explains: “[when] you are disliked by someone, it is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.
YOUTH: But, but . . .
PHILOSOPHER: It is certainly distressful to be disliked. If possible, one would like to live without being disliked by anyone. One wants to satisfy one’s desire for recognition. But conducting oneself in such a way as to not be disliked by anyone is an extremely unfree way of living, and is also impossible. There is a cost incurred when one wants to exercise one’s freedom. And the cost of freedom in interpersonal relationships is that one is disliked by other people.”
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Living in integrity with one’s values and principles means being willing to be disliked. It means choosing with whom you will stand, because you can’t please everybody. So choose carefully whose approval you are seeking – their values will become the ones you live out in your actions.
Who are you currently pleasing that is at odds with your values? What would it take for you to exercise your freedom to be disliked?
#integrity #values #youhaveachoice