Tuition</header>

Tuition

to the tune of "Tradition"

Tuition! Tuition! Tuition!
Tuition! Tuition! Tuition!

When I was just a lad I studied hard at school you see
The thing I wanted most was to get into MIT
And now I'm here the end is near; my grades were good enroute.
There's just one thing between me and that sheepskin from the 'Tute.

Poor Student! Poor Student! Tuition!
Poor Student! Poor Student! Tuition!

I'm sorry to report to you we can't give you a loan
Your dad makes too much money that we'd like to call our own.
So borrow, beg, or steal, I don't care how you get the dough.
A second mortgage, sell the car, just pay me what you owe.

The Bursar! The Bursar! Tuition!
The Bursar! The Bursar! Tuition!

Well son, I see your grades this term have not been all that hot.
You still won't get a haircut, my last birthday you forgot
Your brother and two sisters I still have to put through school
So if you think you'll get a dime you really are a fool!

The Father! The Father! Tuition!
The Father! The Father! Tuition!

I came out east to go to school and try to learn a trade
And now I'm on the street 'cause they refused financial aid.
So I'll just have to take the only job that I can choose
I'll open up a hardware store and sell left handed screws...

Tuition! Tuition! Tuition!
Tuition! Tuition! Tuition!


Performed in the Crock Operas of 1990 and 1993.

Eric Nehrlich's WWW home page / nehrlich@athena.mit.edu